High on Life!

Maybe it’s the chocolate cake talking, or the cups of regular tea I’ve just had having only consumed decaf for the last two months, or maybe it’s the jumping on a bouncy castle at a two year old’s birthday party… whatever it may be, I am feeling high on life. And here’s the main things that I’m happy about:

I have amazing friends

Humans are social creatures, looking for love and acceptance, we want to feel part of something, included, we want to be able to share our thoughts and feelings with other people and still be liked for what we say and not judged. I don’t think we can ever underestimate how important a good group of friends is to our overall happiness.

However, finding the right group of friends is never an easy task. I have certainly gone through times in different friendship groups where I have not felt liked, included, accepted, and it is horrible. I’ve also felt incredible loneliness, surrounded by superficial relationships without any real meaning. It doesn’t help if you are, like me, self-conscious and over-analytical of your own behaviour and that of others. It can be a real barrier to your relationships as you are unable to be your fully relaxed self.

It was through a stroke of luck? Fate? God? that I met the friends I have today. I can only hope that every single person out there gets dealt their own lucky hand and finds a group of friends who they feel comfortable with, who they admire, and who can turn their life around to a point where they can only imagine how hopeless it would be without them.

It’s because of my friends that I’ve recently been able to…

Climb a mountain (Scafell 24th January 2015)

Spend weekends in Wales (Fairbourne Log Cabins Sept & Nov 2014)

Spend weekends in The Lakes (Blacksail Hut Feb 2014)

And play silly games on the beach (I’m stoked that I still get to do this as an adult)

This week a few of my friends went to Africa to climb the Atlas mountains whilst the other half went to the Lake District where they hiked Striding Edge to the top of Helvellyn with ice axes and crampons. I’m sad that I missed out but I’m incredibly proud of all of my friends and their achievements.

Even though I have known them all for four years now, I am still inspired by their thirst for a challenge and their fearlessness in their approach. I am often really pushed out of my comfort zone when climbing a mountain with them, but to me life is about exploring your boundaries, searching for new experiences, and gaining in confidence and self belief!

I appreciate what I do have instead of focusing on what I don’t

Life can pop up and surprise you! If you’re willing to learn from it, it can teach you things about yourself that you never expected. You will grow to recognise that there are some cultural ideals surrounding what qualifies as a ‘successful life’, such as:

1) Owning your own home

2) Finding a partner

3) Getting married

4) Having kids

5) Securing your dream job

Then, if you’re willing to listen, life will teach you what an utter load of bollocks that all is! Happiness is not something that you will suddenly find after checking off the most common items on life’s ‘tick-list’.

Five years ago I would say that I subscribed to that way of thinking. I was 22 and single so I decided to go for the one life target that I thought I may actually have some control over, a CAREER! I decided my “dream job” was to work in the media industry, so off I went, working very hard to achieve that goal. I was in awe of my own self when I landed a job at the BBC, it was a dream come true and I couldn’t believe my luck. However, as time went on, I became less and less happy, and I gradually slipped into depression.

Now, what sounds better?

“I’m living in Manchester and working at the BBC” OR “I’m living with my parents and working for my Local Authority.”

It’s obvious what sounds better on paper! But life has taught me that happiness does not always come from the places you expect… I never in a million years thought that in my mid-twenties I would be moving back home and in with my parents. However, when I did, I quickly came out of my depression.

I now have an excellent work/ life balance. I am able to enjoy yoga, running, cinema, TV, walking, and spending time with my family and friends every single week. The people I work with are great, another chance blessing, as you just cannot guarantee that you will bond with the people you end up having to see in an office for five days a week. I don’t have the responsibility of running my own home (I just give a helping hand), meaning I am a very stress-free lady! No sudden bills, no money wasted on new furniture. I am able to save what money I have and go and visit some far-away places for my holidays. Last year it was a road trip ‘out west’ in America, where I visited Yosemite, Death Valley, and the Grand Canyon, amongst other places, and it was utterly amazing!

It’s an obvious statement, but happiness is all about perspective. You will fall out of love with life if you succumb to the cultural pressure of adopting this common list of life expectations as if it were a universal rule book that you must follow. Still single, living with parents, and not in my ‘dream job’ now at the age of 27… a scary prospect? Worthy of a quarter-life crisis? No, it 100% isn’t!

Happiness should not come from how well you measure up to an ‘ideal life’. Let’s stop and take a second, ask yourself this: Are you looking at your life from the outside in…? How about changing your perspective. Have a look at it from the inside out…? Recognise the little things that make you happy, and actually start living!